Qualifications [*] Lyrics

With my qualifications
With my qualifications
I could get me a job walking a dog
Chopping a log, cleaning a bog

With my qualifications
With my qualifications
I could see myself stacking a shelf
As a sales assistant at do-it-yourself

With my qualifications
With my qualifications

And my brother worked night and day
At the Euro-star Terminal
And the government gave it away

So what's the point in University?
For three years, I read philosophy
Now I read bar codes all day long
Beep, beep, beep sings that check-out song

With my qualifications
Talking 'bout my qualifications

Would you like to see my Ph.D.?
My B-S-E? My G-C-S-E?
I gotta first in physics so I ought to know
If your fries are for here or to go